In Wicca, the Goddess tells us “All acts of Love & Pleasure are My rituals.” This is fundamental to who and what we are as Wiccans. Love and pleasure, in combination, are sacred. They are, inherently, offerings to the Goddess.
Premarital sex? A ritual to the Goddess. Homosexual sex? A ritual to the Goddess. Masturbation? A ritual to the Goddess. Group sex? A ritual to the Goddess.
But…but…sputter…sputter… What about all the bad stuff? Rape? Not love and pleasure: Not a ritual. Child molestation? Not love and pleasure: Not a ritual. Nothing with a victim can be defined as “love and pleasure.” Nothing without consent can be defined as love and pleasure.
The majority of world religions have determined that most human behavior, especially sex, is usually bad, and is only good under special circumstances. These circumstances include variations on the who, the how, the when. NOT with a same sex partner. Or more than one partner. Or less than one partner. Or using the mouth. Or touching the butt. Or during your period. Or, or, or… (Shakespeare’s Sister has today’s list of ways The They are trying to say sex is bad. They’re wrong again.)
Wicca and most of Paganism has the opposite view. Most of human behavior, especially sex, is usually good, and is only bad under special circumstances. Unless it’s non-consensual, or harmful, or willfully and callously spreading disease, or based on dishonesty. The list of “unless” is short and to the point. It’s not designed to trick the unwary.
The thing I don’t get is why they keep trying to supress the Evils of Sexuality™ when it never works. Seriously, folks, you’ve been on this kick for several thousand years. Have you ever succeeded in getting us to stop The Sex?
It’s not just that suppression doesn’t work, it’s that it’s actively counter-productive. Transgressive sex is among the hottest kinds of sex there is. Moreover, denying the idea of good, happy, fun-fun-fun sex leads directly to nasty, unpleasant, non-consensual sex. Priests abusing altar boys, anyone? Finally, suppression leads to ignorance, and ignorant sex is not safe sex. Ignorance increases unwanted pregnancy, disease, and, most ironically of all, fails to teach us how to say no.
It’s the Reefer Madness model. If you teach us the stuff is ridiculously dangerous, once we find out it isn’t, we won’t believe any of your other warnings. Teach kids that pot will make them jump off buildings, and they won’t believe you when you tell them it’ll impair driving. Teach kids that all drugs are equally bad, and they won’t be able to distinguish between the occasional use of recreational marijuana and crack addiction. Just so, teach them that all sex is bad, bad, bad, and they won’t be able to distinguish between freely chosen, consensual sex, and sex performed under pressure. The guilt and shame will add to the damage.
For thousands of years, human beings have been spinning their wheels using the suppression model. Isn’t it time to try another way?
All acts of Love and Pleasure are My rituals.
So mote it be.
willfully and callously spreading disease, or based on dishonesty
Aren’t these harmful as well? Seems to me (a non-pagan) that they would be outside the bounds of “An it harm none…”.
Otherwise, 100% agree.
Yes, harmful of course. But the words of the Goddess Herself are more meaningful to me, and to many of us more Traditional folks, than the Rede (an Old English word meaning “advise,” not “law”).
BTW, I would like to add that sex (not any associated fetish) should never be a punishment or a reward.
I never spank my g/f because she’s been “bad”, I spank her when the situation seems to call for it and in a spirit of play.
BTW, I would like to add that sex (not any associated fetish) should never be a punishment or a reward.
You mean, except in the context of “fun” (fetish) rewards and punishments? Yes, that makes sense.
Except that human emotions are complex, and if I’m pissed at you I don’t feel like no nookie, and that doesn’t mean I’m “using” sex as a punishment, it means get the hell outa my bed. If you see the difference. Contrarily, if you’ve made me very happy, it gets me all hot, and that doesn’t mean I’m using sex as a reward, but if you want to take it that way, go for it, just come to bed.
Sex is so complicated. 😉