I am mumblefortymumblemumble years old. I am young enough that I never experienced adult sexuality pre-Roe. I am old enough to be (voluntarily) past my childbearing years, now when Roe is threatened. I lived my fertile years in the sweet spot of reproductive freedom, in that, every single time I had sex and was fertile, abortion was available to me.
And as hard as it is to admit in public, I needed that freedom. I availed myself of that right.
I admit it now because younger women are profoundly threatened, and I feel it is up to people my age, people who have been blessed and are now on the safe side of fertility, to fight even harder. Easy enough to be young and to fight for what you might lose, for what you might desperately need, for what you should have; easy enough to sit back and relax because it’s not “your” fight, because you’re not the one endangered.
At a guess, more than half the adult women I know between, say, 30–50, have had at least one abortion. A similar number of men in that age range have gone through the experience with a woman who was important to them. I don’t have to bang a drum here. I don’t have to explain why. Most of the time, I haven’t even asked why. These aren’t stories we’re happy to tell. These aren’t stories we’re comfortable with. They’re dark moments in our lives, but we know that we were saved from the true darkness of no legal options.
So it’s time for those of us who are “safe” to stand up for our sisters and daughters. To be brave. To make admissions that others will hate to hear, that others will try to shame us with. It’s time to say, I will not let the lives of these younger women be made infinitely worse than my own. I will not take my privilege for granted. I will not walk away from the mothers and grandmothers before me who fought for these rights.
It’s wrong, it’s just wrong, that there’s this select group of women who have had this freedom, and who can opt out of the struggle. Just because we can doesn’t mean we should.
thanks for sharing this.
thanks, also, for not talking down to young women, who as it is stand to lose a lot. on top of that, it’s often hard when we keep hearing from some “older” feminists that we just don’t appreciate the rights that we have, and oh, aren’t we going to be sorry when they’re gone?
it’s funny, for a “sisterhood,” there can be a lot of underlying animosity going on, right? so i really appreciate your call for solidarity.
At my age, I’m a “younger feminist” as well. I was 10 when many of these rights were being won. The real older feminists are the ones who went through the back alley abortions last time around.
Excellent post, De.
This is just my impression and keep in mind, i live in Florida. In some places in this state folks are dang proud to be stupid. Most are sorta christian. I don’t think they will care if they lose this right. Parents seem more accepting when a girl wants to keep a baby. Many just continue living with their parents and never rally grow up, they might not regret thier choice until her child has has grown up with neclect and an uncaring parent.
the stigma of having a baby out of wedlock is not really ther anymore. Women who kept their children, moved to another area, put a wedding ring on and said they were a widow.
I know that I was greatful to have that choice, Thank goodness, I never had to use it, However knowing it was available, so that I could decide when I was ready to have a child that was wanted and loved.
Barb, I think you’re being just a little naive. There are always women, everywhere, who’d rather risk just about anything than go through with a pregnancy. That’s why so many women died or got P.I.D. from botched illegal abortions. Because when the need is real, you take the risk.
I will have to dig up the link about anti-choice activists having abortions. People at clinics who saw the same protesters outside so often they came to recognize them, and then saw them inside the clinic as patients. Even anti-choice activists have abortions if they feel they can’t go through with a pregnancy.
So even the people who want to lose the right would miss the right. Meanwhile, it will destroy women’s lives. Not just the women stuck with unwanted pregnancies, but more importantly, the women who will bleed to coathanger-induced death.
“There are always women, everywhere, who’d rather risk just about anything than go through with a pregnancy. ”
I agree, I just think folks just don’t KNOW that till they need it. I just see so little enthusiam from young women these days
True, Barb, but we need to protect them anyway.
Oh I’m behind that 100 %