Deborah Lipp

The crush on Bruce Willis has been there for a while. The impassive he-man with a twinkle in his eye reminds me of my ex. Him, James Caan, all those stoic but not guys with big arms. Also he’s from Jersey.

So I despair whenever I hear about his politics, because as you know, I only date liberals.

So anyway, this week, I read an Empire Online interview with my honey. Here’s the money quote (emphasis added):

Q: You are one of the few major Hollywood stars who are proud to be Republican…

A: Let me stop you right there. I’m a Republican — and everybody write this down because I’m sick of answering this fucking question – only as far as I want a smaller government, I want less government intrusion, I want them to stop pissing on my money and your money, and I want them to be fiscally responsible, and I want these goddamn lobbyists out of Washington. But other than that, I want the government to take care of people who need help, like the half a million kids who are in orphanages right now; they call them foster homes but they’re orphanages. I want them to take care of the elderly and give them free medicine, give them whatever they need. There’s billions and billions of dollars that are just being wasted. Okay? I hate government. I’m apolitical. Write that down. I’m not a Republican. There you go. Now you can finish your question.

See? I am teh happy. My way to him is clear. All systems go.