Deborah Lipp

Trembling Before G-d (2001) 10/10
An exploration of the lives of gay and lesbian Orthodox and Hasidic Jews. (Documentary)

Trembling Before G-d presents us with people who, on the face of it, are suffering massive cognitive dissonance. The Ultra-Orthodox and Hasidim featured here believe in the Torah as God’s word, and in obedience to Jewish law. As an Orthodox rabbi explains, no matter how much compassion he may have for gay Jews, he cannot tell them it’s okay to do something for which the Torah prescribes the death penalty.

The breadth of the interviews is remarkable, as we encounter people who have taken virtually every possible position in regards to their conflict. We meet a lesbian couple, together for ten years, who together keep a kosher and frum (Orthodox) home, but whose parents reject them for their sin. We meet a gay man who has utterly rejected observant Judaism because of its position on homosexuality, but confesses to missing it. We meet another gay man who went from Hasidism to secularism when he came out, but found life meaningless without Torah. He has returned to Hasidism and is still figuring out how to make it work. We meet deeply closeted people struggling in the heterosexual marriages their faith and their community have thrust upon them, and a man who tried a variety of aversion therapies and prayer “cures” and has finally decided to accept his homosexuality. He prays at the Western Wall for God’s help in this acceptance. We meet rabbis and therapists, all in a process of discovery. Are the answers we offer any good? They wonder.

The first ‘out’ Orthodox rabbi says that the essential problem of humanity is “Adam’s problem”; loneliness. To demand celibacy of gays is to offer none of the connectedness that a religious community is supposed to offer.

It would be so easy to make fun of these people. Those who stay within Orthodoxy are so easily dismissed as crazy. If they’d just walk away, they could be happy. Except that they couldn’t; for whatever reason, Orthodoxy is essential to their happiness. So they struggle.

(I should point out that the Orthodox, ultra-Orthodox, and Hasidic forms of Judaism are minority of Jews (a tiny minority in the U.S.). Reformed, Reconstructionist, and Secular Judaism fully accept homosexuality; Conservative Judaism has an in-between position; supporting civil liberties for gays but rejecting gay marriage and gay ordination.)

It has perhaps never been so obvious to me as when watching this movie how inevitable, unbeatable, and universally human it is to be gay. I have never seen people more serious and sober in their desire to obey God’s law. These are pious people. They pray. They observe strict dietary laws. They dress modestly. And they travel the world seeking spiritual guidance and solutions. Yet, despite the propaganda being delivered to teens and adults, they cannot be changed. They are who they are.

Some “succeed.” A therapist recounts the story of a married couple with twelve (!) children. The husband has known all his life that he is homosexual. His wife also knows. He has never experienced gay sex. Neither can he fully love his wife. She admires him because of his constant struggle, but she suffers from depression. He leaves his job as a teacher because of his persistent unrequited crushes on his students. This, for many in the movie, is a proper Jewish homosexual success story.

I was amazed at how successful the filmmakers were in capturing the soul of these people’s stories, especially considering most were unwilling to have their faces appear. That certainly makes for awkward filming, but it worked.