Yesterday was my birthday. No, you didn’t miss my post about it. The past few years I have decided not to tell people, not to make a big demand on the world to pay attention to me.
This has limited success, because deep down, actually an inch or so down, I want the world to pay attention to me. So I often just feel sad and sulky. But it’s interesting because I got phone calls and emails and cards and a couple of presents. And I still felt sorry for myself.
Loneliness isn’t about other people. I am lonely because I feel lonely. It’s a perfect tautology. I could be surrounded by people, and as long as I maintain my sadness that is exactly how I will feel. So, although I recognize that my strategy (secretly designed to facilitate any surprise parties that may be, but are not actually, in the offing) isn’t working, I nonetheless appreciate the introspection of time spent alone with my wildly misguided hopes and expectations.
Anyway, fuck that bag. I took myself out to dinner and had big quantities of sushi and hot sake and yes, that does make a girl feel better and indeed, quite celebratory.
Yay me. Congratulations on yet another successful turning 39.
Happy belated birthday, “Grandma”!
(with Love from John & Paula)
Happy belated birthday, Deb.
I’m glad you went out and celebrated. Birthdays just arent a big deal anymore for me. Remember what you told me years ago? Don’t have any expections, then if someone remembers it is a gift you didn’t expect
Love and Kisses, Can’t wait to see you this summer
Thanks all!
Sushi, you said the magic word…
Still going to say happy belated birthday to you ya know 😉
Want to see evidence of tremendous growth?
It only JUST occurred to me to have a problem with the 39 thing as it relates to me.
Not bad, ay?
(and THAT is an example of how I crack myself up.)
I thought you would want to be the oldest. 🙂
point.