Deborah Lipp

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) 6/10
When a “cure” for mutation is developed, the conflict between mutants who are trying to co-exist with humans—led by Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and his X-Men—and mutants who feel they are at war with humans—led be Magneto (Ian McKellan) and his badasses—flares up. Meanwhile, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), believed dead at the end of X2 (but we knew better) is back but not very nice. So not nice, in fact, that she gets seriously sexy with Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), which makes this movie worth the ticket price.

Here’s the thing: X-Men: The Last Stand is not a good movie. Just not. Director Brett Ratner is a hack. The movie stands still in a dozen spots where it should move, looks away in any number of places where it should zoom in, and meanders around as if hoping it will, perhaps by Brownian motion, be looking at the right thing at the right time. Furthermore, Ratner is unable to solve the problem of superpowers, relying instead on the point-and-stare model. Dark Phoenix is here, folks. Arguably the most talked-about character in comic history. And how do we know she’s here (other than that kiss)? She gets a new dress and she stares off into space. Seriously.

Here’s the other thing: It is beyond Ratner’s powers to ruin this series, at least not in one movie. The characters here have been carefully and intelligently developed in the comics since 1963, and have been fully fleshed in two excellent movies. The cast members know what they’re doing, and most of the acting is knock-em-dead awesome. Where were we all before Hugh Jackman came on the scene? He’s too good to be true! Ian McKellan, Patrick Stewart, and Famke Janssen are all very talented and know what they’re doing (I’d argue that Halle Berry has never really gotten a handle on her character, much as I hate to diss a Bond girl). New characters such as the Beast (Kelsey Grammer, who is surprisingly marvelous here), Juggernaut and Multiple Man really work and flesh the film out.

Unfortunately, Ratner doesn’t know how to handle so many characters. The previous movies did a good job of zooming in on main characters and letting minor ones go by in a flash. Here, though, we have a large number of characters who dangle uncomfortable in the middle, given just enough screen time so that we should know them, but not enough so that we do.

So, X-Men: The Last Stand is a pleasure for those of us who love these characters and stories, but it is not a pleasure for those of us who just want to see a good movie. Since I am both, I am forced to give it a middling rating.