Deborah Lipp

I haven’t done one of these in a while, because, well, no dates.

So let me start out by saying that this guy had a terrible profile on the dating site in question. Just terrible. Obnoxious and scattershot. So he was already a no.

Then he contacted me and wrote me a really nice email, and another really nice email. Both were intelligent and warm and about compatibility, and both were also full of spelling errors. So I thought, Hmm, maybe this is a guy who is smart and nice but can’t write. There are such guys. My ex was such a guy; his emails ranged from blah to actual suckitude, and you’d never guess from reading them how smart and funny he really was.

So I’ve done the classic Deborah thing of second guessing myself, and I respond politely to the guy’s email. And what happens is he starts pursuing me via email, very focused, very nice, never inappropriate, but never dropping the ball or forgetting to follow up or letting me forget to follow up. So my head was a tiny bit turned.

Finally, I give him a phone number and he calls and the call is also very nice. He’s a little bit, I dunno, I can say there were things I didn’t like on the call, but at the time it was a really fun conversation with someone with a real vocabulary and real thoughts in his head. He says “Let’s meet tonight” and I say I can’t and we agree to the following night. Around 10:30 that night my phone rings and I don’t catch it in time, but it’s him, and it’s “Just wanted to say good night. See you tomorrow.” Which was so sweet.

So I go to bed that night thinking, what a nice date I have for tomorrow!

3:30 in the morning, the phone rings. It’s him. “Wanna party?”

Oh. My. Gods.

Did I mention 3:30 in the morning?

So he never actually contacted me after that. Which is nice, for his alcoholism; at least he can still remember that he did it. When the blackouts are total he’s in real trouble. But either way, I’ll never know, because that’s as done as done gets.