My late ex-husband drove me crazy, even during our happiest times together.
Professor Spouse doesn’t drive me crazy. She definitely does things that one could point to and say “that drives me crazy.” But it doesn’t.
What is “drives me crazy?” For me, the frustration is about wanting to fix it and being unable to. I had an idea that somehow it was my job, or my right, to fix or change the behavior, but I also knew it was impossible to fix it. The conflict is what’s crazy making.
When Professor Spouse does something I find irritating, I look at it and I know it’s unlikely to change. And I know that it is not about me, that there is nothing for me to do. I can just love her and be at peace.
But I do wish she’d fill the ice cube trays.
