Deborah Lipp

The worst thing about all the incredibly crappy ‘reality’ series out there is it didn’t occur to anybody to make the one ‘reality’ series that would be worth watching.

I’m talking, of course, about a series following the Katherine Harris campaign.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving, the train wreck that keeps on wrecking, the catastrophic failure that just goes right on failing. It’s the entertainment event of the century. Because, let’s face it: loathsome + clueless + disaster-prone = Comedy Gold.

All is not lost. Maybe when it’s all over (which could be sooner than November), HBO could turn it into docufarce, in the vein of The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom. (In fact, I’ll bet Holly Hunter could do an hilarious Katherine Harris.) But hell, I would even settle for a sitcom. Imagine the possibilities…
Episode 1: She accuses newspapers of doctoring her photo to make fun of her. Wackiness ensues.

Episode 2: She tells a reporter the out-of-state people who gave her bundled $2,000 contributions, and happened to be connected to bribe factory MZM, just ‘liked her stands on the issues’. Hijinks ensue.

Episode 3: Her advisers try to convince her to drop out of the race. Her former political strategist, Ed Rollins, says in an interview that she should drop out. Sparks fly!

Episode 4: She finds (more) religion as her senior staffers jump ship. At a gun show, she accuses a staffer of leaking the departures to the St. Petersburg Times. More sparks fly.

Episode 5: When party officials try to get Joe Scarborough to run against her, she tells donors he would have to answer questions about the 2001 death of a staffer. Laughs galore.

Episode 6: The absent-minded candidate forgets that Mitchell Wade took her out to dinner (with a $2,000 tab)…twice. Comic misunderstandings ensue.

Episode 7: In this Very Special Episode, she reveals her deep love for animals when she tells the press “All of my life I have stopped for turtles.” Hearwarming family comedy ends in hugs all around.

Episode 8: Her top campaign staff quits again. Wackiness ensues as she struggles to keep her campaign going with no staff.

Episode 9: In an embarrassing misunderstanding, she discovers that she’s not a target of a Federal investigation.

[Links via Josh Marshall, who is even more of a Harris addict than I am. Cross-posted at If I Ran the Zoo]