Fun with Spoken Language

I was having dinner with my family, and we were talking about blogging (yes, over a family dinner), and I said: “I guest-write on a blog…”

And two or three of them asked “What did you guess?”

“What?”

“You said you guessed right. Guessed what?”

“No, I guest-write. I am a guest-writer. I guest-write.”

“Oh!”

I had no clue I was saying something confusing.

Tuesday Trivia: Solved insanely fast

Wow. These name that actor quizzes are a HUGE pain in the butt to put together, and y’all cleaned them out in seconds.

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Tuesday Trivia: The return of name that actor

These are three roles played by the same actor. Name the actor.

1. A notorious man dying of cancer, an expatriot boxer, a homesick Swedish sailor
Solved by Melville (comment #5).

2. An heiress with a troublesome younger sister, a fashion designer, a psychiatrist
Solved by Tom Hilton (comment #1 and 10).

3. An ambitious insurance actuary, a television cameraman, a naval ensign
Solved by Melville (comment #5).

4. A home health aide, an African political leader, a woman who meets people from the future
Solved by Melville (comment #6).

5. A security guard with strange abilities, the next-door neighbor of a dentist, a boxer
Solved by Tom Hilton (comment #2) and finished by Wendy (comment #9).

6. The wealthy patron of a famous painter, the father of a murder victim, a male stripper
Solved by George (comment #14).

7. An innocent man on death row, a comic book villain, a one-eyed chauffer
Solved by Wendy (comment #9).

Monday Movie Review: There Will Be Blood

There Will Be Blood (2007) 5/10
Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis) is an oilman who will let nothing stop his drive towards success. He develops a lifelong adversity with a preacher (Paul Dano) who has enormous over a town where Plainview wishes to drill. Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.

This was me giving P.T. Anderson one last chance. I didn’t like Boogie Nights, and I half-liked Magnolia (a beautiful mess if ever there was one), so this was Anderson’s last hurrah for me. Critics have said things like There Will Be Blood is his “most realized work” or whatever. To me it felt, in many ways, less recognizably Anderson: less histrionic until the bizarre final scene, but also less populous.

Part of the problem with this movie is there are no people in it, and no life. No one is living a life. No one makes love, eats, weeps, interacts, plays. It is a one-man show with a second man add-on. Daniel Plainview exists in a vacuum, and nothing breaks in to show us why we care about watching him for endless hours (and dear Lady, does this movie go on forever or what?). Daniel’s son, H.W., is a cipher, then he’s a deaf cipher; he’s never really a little boy. Plainview gives an early speech about the importance of families, but we see no women except peripherally, and few children.

I was strangely unimpressed with Daniel Day Lewis. I realize there is something blasphemous about impugning his God-like Acting Talents, but his Daniel Plainview didn’t draw me in. It was a less exciting performance than Gangs of New York, it was inhuman in its studied quality. Maybe that’s the point. Who knows?

I was looking for some kind of statement, it all seemed like it should have been symbolic; Capitalism vs. Religion or something, but no one in the film cared about those symbols, and ultimately I felt the movie failed as a vehicle of communication. I was told that the book it is based on, Oil by Upton Sinclair, is more or less a screed on behalf of socialism. And fine, I can see Anderson wanting to change that, but he should have changed to something. The symbols here are left dangling, like leftovers in the symbolism clearance department.

The cinematography is much-praised, but it was a dark, smokey, bleak film, and not the beautiful bleakness of John Ford’s Monument Valley. It felt like the landscape expressed the overall misery of Paul Sunday’s (Dano) flock, of Plainview’s life, of the movie itself.

Ultimately, it felt like wasted time. Now I know what “I drink your milkshake” means. So what?

Live Fun With Language

I saw a sign on the way home that said “Live Karaoke.”

As opposed to…?

Tattoo Review

I found out that an old friend—an ex-boyfriend, in fact—is featured in the current issue of Tattoo Review. So I went to Barnes and Noble to buy it. B&N carries…

Tattoo, Tattoo Flash, Tattoo Savage, Tattoo Energy, International Tattoo Art, Skin Art, Skin & Ink, and Inked.

Not Tattoo Review.

So I went to Borders, where I was told it would be, and found

Tattoo, Tattoo Flash, Tattoo Savage, Tattoo Energy, International Tattoo Art, Skin Art, Skin & Ink, Inked and Tattoos for Women.

Not Tattoo Review.

I hope he looked good and all.

“Labor” trivia: All solved

It was a boy, by the way.

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My thoughts on the first episode of Fringe

Eh.

I was sort of not-wowed, and then the following dialogue happened:

First guy: What do we do now?
[pause]
Second guy: Now, we wait.

Jesus fuck. No seriously, I had an urge to take pen to paper and list everywhere I’d heard that before.

I’m supposed to be into this shit? Become obsessed? The preview made me think “rip-off of Threshold.” Threshold was a sci-fi show that didn’t take off, and got cancelled mid-season, but I really liked it. Carla Gugioni, Peter Dinklage, Brent Spiner, Charles S. Dutton, alien invasion. I thought it was really intelligent. And I could see all these parallels, based on the preview. Well, Threshold was better. More compelling, scarier, with a more interesting assortment of characters. Hell, even the stiff pseudo-acting of The 4400 was better than this!

One more week, maybe, and then I’m done.

Tuesday Trivia: Labor Day

Hey, my friend’s sister just went into labor. It’s a little bit premature (36 weeks, I think) so let’s focus positive thoughts and work this trivia on movies featuring pregnancy and/or childbirth:

1. She hit her head and then eloped. When she woke up, she couldn’t remember who she’d married.
Solved by Hogan (comment #4).

2. Doing the laundry, he is appalled by how huge maternity panties are.
Solved by Tracy (comment #8).

3. “You have a girl. Unless I cut the wrong cord.”
Solved by George (comment #6).

4. In this classic, the heroine helps her beloved’s wife give birth.
Solved by Wendy (comment #2).

5. “Can’t we just, like, kick this old school? Like, I have the baby, put it in a basket and send it your way, like, Moses and the reeds?”
Solved by Wendy (comment #2).

6. A woman becomes pregnant while in a coma.
Solved by Erik (comment #3).

7. The first of many movies that combines a famous director, a famous star, and the director’s signature location.
Solved by Melville (comment #5).

Stop checking your blog feeds

Trivia won’t go up until this evening, after 6pm (Eastern).