My sister and I have started a blog about the AMC show Mad Men. I’ve posted about this show before, and in fact, I have a half-written post about the feminism of the show sitting in my Drafts folder.
It was Roberta’s idea (the blog) and I hope it’s going to be fun. My plan is, I guess, to cross-post here if it’s about feminism or something else I like to talk about here, but mostly Mad Men stuff will be over there.
So please come visit.
I have begun the process of remembering my dead.
Now, I remember my dead all the time. I think of my Nana, maybe not daily, but several times a week. I think of all of our dead, from Iraq soldiers to 9/11 victims to the collective beloved dead in public life. I honor Robert Altman and Ella Fitzgerald and Ray Walston and Thomas Jefferson.
But at Samhain, we gather our dead close to us and raise a toast to them, or share a meal with them, or break bread with them.
So now, in the days leading up to our most holy festival, is a time to meditate on your beloved dead. Who do you remember and what do you remember about them? How can you best enjoy your time with them when the veil is thinnest? Will you tell a story about them, or will you tell them a story about you? What foods might you prepare that were favorites of your departed? What drinks might you serve? What mementos might you gather for your ancestor altar.
A friend just sent me photographs of Gerald Gardner’s grave in Tunisia. These will certainly be a part of my ancestor altar. And some pictures I always bring out once a year; a picture of John and I together just days before he died, a lovely card that Scott Cunningham sent me, a picture of my grandfather I’ve treasured since I was a little girl. But now is a time to meditate on that altar, and think, what is meaningful to me now, today? What is my relationship with these people? Who belongs on that altar?
May these meditations be productive, and may your Samhain be blessed.
When I was a girl, my older brother would come into my room early in the morning, while I was still asleep, and go through my shit. He’d steal stuff, read my diary, all that. Often it would wake me.
Last night, Arthur plugged his MP3 player into the computer to charge. This morning, early, he came quietly into my room to get it, and I rolled over and said
“Jay?”
Freaky. I mean, then I screamed and told him to never do that again, but weird that something from over thirty years ago is the first thing that rises to the level of language.
Here is Mighty Mingo, waiting for me to come out of the shower so he can get in my face. Or lick up the shower water. Whatever.
Don’t smoosh muffins on your mother’s face.
I don’t even remember this (although the visual is clear enough). I found it in my notes. But, well, visual.
This was a tough one, but you managed it with only one hint.
Since I reviewed a sexually-explicit movie yesterday, today’s quiz is about sex.
1. She says she’s not good at sex, but they try anyway. Unfortunately, they each get a phone call and have to leave.
Solved by Roberta (comment #2).
2. Making love while discussing the etymology of “honeymoon.”
Solved by George (comment #25).
3. Provoked to lose her virginity on a bet, she and the young man meet in the middle of a lake.
Solved by Melville (comment #1).
4. They meet and marry in the same day, barely making it to City Hall before it closes. The next morning, they glow with the sweetness of their first night together, but he must leave.
Solved by Roberta (comment #10) and Hazel (comment #11).
5. After they make love for the first time, she teases him about his suit, and he finds a penny in the pocket.
Solved by Pax/Geoffrey Stewart (comment #29).
6. Waiting at her daughter’s sub-leased apartment, she discovers a large supply of dildoes belonging to the leaseholder, and begins exploring her own sexuality.
Solved by Karen D (comment #26).
7. While making love, she pulls a knife in a threatening manner, and then uses it to slice a piece of fruit for them to share.
Hint: One of the top-grossing movies of its year, which is hmmm…between 1995–2006.
Solved by George (comment #38).
Shortbus (2006) 10/10
Sofia (Sook-Yin Lee), Severin (Lindsay Beamish), James (Paul Dawson), Jamie (PJ DeBoy), and their friends and lovers struggle to find pleasure, love, and connection in New York City. Written and directed by John Cameron Mitchell.
Let’s start by acknowledging that this is a sexually explicit movie. As in, very. The opening sequence makes that abundantly clear, so that anyone uncomfortable with the sight of penetration, domination, and masturbation is going to turn the movie off in the first few minutes. The movie doesn’t simply include sex; sex is its primary metaphor for communicating about its characters, and the main setting is the private sex club that gives the movie its title.
Sofia is a sex therapist (“I prefer the term ‘couples counselor'”), the fact of which is the movie’s greatest weakness. Sofia is “pre-orgasmic;” despite an active and athletic sex life, she has never had an orgasm, and she is lying to her husband about it. Her story is poignant, and indeed, forms the centerpiece of the movie. But I absolutely despise movies that give people professions as a prop, or a placeholder, or as ironic commentary. There is simply no way that Sofia is a sex therapist. It’s not just that she’s bad, and inappropriate, it’s that she seems to have no education about sex at all. And I’m pretty sure that’s a requirement. The unprofessional professional is an irritant whenever it shows up in films, never more so than here.
Despite that, I adored this movie. I was stunned by its beauty, by the delicacy with which people’s needs and sorrows emerge, by the tenderness with which the film views their loneliness and desire.
In her first counseling session with “the Jamies” (actually James and Jamie), a gay couple considering exploring open relationships, Sofia has an outburst and reveals she is pre-orgasmic (wherein Jamie gets off one of the movie’s funniest lines, reminding us that gay men really don’t know all that much about female sexuality). Believing it will help her, the Jamies invite her to Shorbus, a sex club for misfits and people exploring the outré within themselves. There Sofia meets Severin, a “pro-domme” (professional dominatrix) who has never had a real relationship. The two form a friendship.
Meanwhile, the Jamies meet Ceth (Jay Brannan), but there is more troubling the relationship than any of them know.
I was trying to think of what movie Shortbus reminded me of, and I realized it was Bubble. The characters and events have absolutely nothing in common, but the tone, the authenticity, the simplicity of letting the characters just be themselves, and the overwhelming sense of truth and wonder are similar. Bubble, of course, uses ordinary life, mostly work. Shortbus uses sex, including kinky, unusual, and perverse sex, but that, too, is a part of life.
Shortbus is funny, touching, occasionally erotic, often sad, and extremely entertaining. It is such a remarkable achievement that I’m giving it 10 out of 10 despite its one irritating flaw. I recommend the “making of” feature included on the DVD as well, which gives a lot of insight into the complex problems of creating a sexually explicit feature film.
My blogiversary date is fuzzy, as I explained on my one year Blogiversary. In addtion, the Name the Blog contest wasn’t until December of 2005, so I wasn’t actually Property of a Lady at first.
Yet, there must be a date, and October 14 is it. I celebrate the me that is me. Also forcing myself to write a lot. Also having fun chatting with folks who come and visit.
Yay me.
This is really Amanda‘s hobby horse, but hello to being proven right. Here’s what greeted me when I turned on the computer this morning (emphasis added):
LONDON – Women are just as likely to get an abortion in countries where it is outlawed as they are in countries where it is legal, according to research published Friday.
In a study examining abortion trends from 1995 to 2003, experts also found that abortion rates are virtually equal in rich and poor countries, and that half of all abortions worldwide are unsafe…
“The legal status of abortion has never dissuaded women and couples, who, for whatever reason, seek to end pregnancy,” Beth Fredrick of the International Women’s Health Coalition in the U.S. said in an accompanying commentary.
Abortion accounts for 13 percent of maternal mortality worldwide. About 70,000 women die every year from unsafe abortions. An additional 5 million women suffer permanent or temporary injury.
“The continuing high incidence of unsafe abortion in developing countries represents a public health crisis and a human rights atrocity,” Fredrick wrote.
So, if you think that abortion itself is morally wrong, then obviously you want to prevent it, right? And legal obstacles don’t prevent abortion. So you’ll obviously want to work to make birth control accessible and affordable, right? And to inform women about it?
And if you’re pro-life, then the high rate of death from illegal abortion concerns you. Obviously. So keeping abortion safe and hygienic is vital, and keeping it legal helps ensure that.
This sounds like sarcasm, but as snide as my tone is, I’m not being sarcastic. It is absolutely true that if you want to prevent abortion and preserve life, then safe, legal abortion combined with safe, legal, accessible, inexpensive birth control is the way to make that happen. The fact that the “pro-life” (snort) movement doesn’t favor any of those things doesn’t mean it’s not true. It means they’re not pro-life. No matter what a “pro-life” person says, if they don’t support policies which are proven to reduce abortion rates and preserve the lives of women, then they have a different agenda.
I understand they are changing their name to the “Punish Slutty Women” movement. Okay, that was sarcasm.
