Archive for Feminism

Bridezilla shoes

August 29, 2006 / / 15 comments

My friend got married a couple of weeks ago, and today I was looking at the pictures on the web. You know those photographers that take twenty zillion pictures and put them all on the web and then you choose what to buy? Like that.

So, there are all the posed pictures (groom with best man, bride with mother, bride with father, groom with children from previous marriage…) and there are pictures of the ceremony, of the first dance, of the reception, and then there are pictures of…stuff.

There’s a close-up of the dress; just a big picture of some of the detail work on the buttons and beading. There’s a picture of the flower petals that were given out to throw at the couple instead of rice. A picture of a table setting, a picture of the cake. And at first I was thinking, these were nice memories, these were nice keepsakes. But it went on; more gown closeups, the veil, the tiara, and finally…the shoes.

Not with feet in them, mind you. Just the shoes. A full size, extra large shot of white satin shoes with rhinestone buckle. I believe you could read the brand name still embossed on the insole. This is when I understood.

It’s a fetish.

» Read more..

Let’s pick on the fat girl

August 15, 2006 / / 6 comments

Okay, I’m back on Saved! I want to talk about the way that this movie, supposedly a force for tolerance and acceptance, reinforces and supports looks-prejudice and fat-prejudice.

(Man, I made it sound fun, didn’t I?)

At one point in the movie, the trio of outcasts (a pregnant girl, a Jewish girl, and the brother of our Bitch Villainess) decide to strike back. The brother (Macaulay Culkin, whose character uses a wheelchair) reveals that Hillary Faye wasn’t always a beauty, and shows his friends a picture of her when she was *gasp* fat (and pimply and wore braces).

Now, Hillary Faye (played by Mandy Moore) is mean and domineering. She abuses people by being holier than thou, and using the Bible as a weapon (literally, in one scene). What she never does is mock or humiliate anyone on any issues other than religiosity or sinfulness. She never, in the course of the film, remarks on beauty or size (but there are, of course, no fat people) or race.

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Listen up, people. Plan B is NOT an abortion pill.

August 3, 2006 / / 23 comments

Today’s depressing news is from Feministing (again). It seems that

  • Most women don’t know the difference between Plan B and RU-486
  • Most women think Plan B is an abortion pill
  • Most women don’t know the circumstances under which they should take Plan B

Geez, Louise, how many times do I have to tell you? Educate yourselves, educate your community. Plan B is contraception. Not abortion. It doesn’t end pregnancy, it prevents it.

Hey, I’m past childbearing. This is for your benefit, girls. If the condom breaks; if the contraceptive fails for any reason, you can take Plan B up to 3 days after intercourse and prevent pregnancy.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry

August 1, 2006 / / 3 comments

What to Expect When You’re Pre-expecting.

Hat tip to Feministing.

Feminism vs. Multiculturalism

July 31, 2006 / / 2 comments

My friend Ken sent me this link to an article about anti-feminism in the Bengali community.

The logic of multiculturalism has made it hard for these thugs to be challenged. Multiculturalism treats immigrant communities as homogenous blocks, represented by elderly, reactionary “community spokesmen”. It has created the bizarre situation where the often-great feminist Germaine Greer has ended up siding with the patriarchal protestors as the keepers of authentic Bengali culture against the carping feminists. Yet in reality, immigrant communities are diverse, clashing cacophonies like everyone else. As the great Amarya Sen has been arguing, we should ditch the outdated idea of multiculturalism and support the progressive wings of all and any communities.

Read the whole thing.

Makeup, the Male Gaze, and So What?

July 29, 2006 / / 14 comments

Arthur and I got into a conversation about makeup. Specifically, “should” women wear makeup. And that morphed into a conversation about the male gaze.

Understanding the male gaze is probably the most abstract and hard to grasp part of feminism. Equal rights, equal wages; everyone gets that. Double standards about sexuality and sexual freedom, about social freedom, outspokenness and aggression; not hard to define and explore. But how we look at things, how we display or do not display ourselves, how we use our eyes and images to create subject and object; these are pretty highfalutin.

I am not opposed to the idea that the male gaze is hard-wired. We certainly know other species in which one gender draws the gaze of the other; peacocks are prettier than peahens. On the other hand, male and female gorillas and chimps look more or less alike, and I’d wager I’m more a chimp than a peahen. (Remind me to tell the story about the lesbian peahen someday.)
» Read more..

Legislating Nature

July 26, 2006 / / 5 comments

Amanda makes a brilliant point:

I’ve never quite understood why we have to legislate and/or use social pressure to force women to behave naturally. I breathe and walk on two feet without society interfering, so why is it that if I, as a woman, have a “natural caution”, then only the fear of being tarred a slut will make me cautious? You’ll see the same argument coming from people who claim that women have a natural love of staying home and having lots of children—because this is our nature, apparently we need to be forced into it by having our reproductive rights stripped from us.

Wasn’t Tomorrow Wonderful?

July 5, 2006 / / 5 comments

Listening to The Waitresses on the drive home last night, and I was struck by how much I still love these lyrics:

Get tough, don’t be so patient
Get smart, head up, shoulders straight
Since when is it a disaster?
If the “S” on your cape is a little frayed?

What’s a girl to do?
Born to shop? No! Pretty victories
What’s a girl to do?
Scream & screw? No! Pretty victories

Chris Butler was a man writing from a woman’s point of view. Sometimes he got it and sometimes he didn’t, but mostly the songs were great. And this one, Wasn’t Tomorrow Wonderful?, reads almost like a feminist anthem.

The song is written as “girl talk.” One friend speaks to another who has dropped by, giving her a pep talk about relationships and self-esteem.

Don’t work your buns off, for a fool, for a fool
Who can barely tie his shoes.

Twenty-four years later, Wasn’t Tomorrow Wonderful? feels fresh and smart and interesting, and expresses both anger and hope. And now I have it stuck in my head. Full lyrics below the fold. » Read more..

When did we become so harsh?

June 8, 2006 / / 12 comments

As a culture, America has become an astonishingly unforgiving place. The trend towards mandatory minimum sentences was perhaps when I first noticed it. But nowhere are we less forgiving than in regard to sexuality. In Tom’s post about Plan B, a commenter said:

Suck it up. Either have the kid, or have the abortion. Either way, George Bush was not in the bedroom…

Suck it up?

Would she who is without an impulsive moment please cast the first stone?

Plan B offers women a non-invasive, non-surgical means of preventing pregnancy. Our cultural answer seems to be, well fuck that. Can’t have it be easy.

And while perhaps this particular commenter isn’t a Puritan, doesn’t this attitude come from the idea that if we make mistakes we should suffer? If we have a sexually impulsive moment, it’s only right that we should “suck up” the most painful, expensive, and long-term consequences possible? Surely there should be no Get Out of Pregnancy Free cards!

Because none of us nice women have had sex on impulse. Without birth control. Just for fun. (And remember, the woman in this article had sex with her husband. I’m told even Puritans approve of that.)

What if we lived in a world where people sometimes behaved foolishly, smiled ruefully, and moved on? Without losing friends, respect, or having to undergo surgery? What if, when we hear of someone making a mistake, we all paused to reflect on our own mistakes?

I think I’d like that world.

When There’s No Plan B

June 5, 2006 / / 12 comments

Common sense dictates that when emergency contraception is unavailable, more people get abortions.

Common sense is right.

The author of the piece is a 42-year-old mother of two who (once) forgot to use her diaphragm. When she tried to get Plan B the next day, she was told her doctor wouldn’t prescribe it… » Read more..

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