Dan Savage writes a weekly advise column for The Onion‘s AV Club. This week, AV Club interviews him. It’s a joy to read from start to finish. It’s smart, it’s weird, it’s funny, it’s incredibly diverse. In fact, I insist you read the whole thing.
Here’s an excerpt.
I actually think the solution to homophobia is eradicating misogyny. I think a lot of homophobia is hatred of women repackaged, ’cause gay men seem to preoccupy homophobes the most. It’s usually about anal sex, and gay men are perceived as taking on the woman’s role, and women are despised. The woman’s role is less-than. And in a male-supremacy culture, men who take on the woman’s role willingly kind of freak out some of the dudes. If you could eradicate misogyny, homophobia would evaporate. That’s why I always tell women, “If you’re dating a homophobe, you’re dating a guy who’s secretly a misogynist, who secretly hates you. And you shouldn’t.”
He’s absolutely right, and to me the proof of that is those misogynistic, homophobic cultures whose treatment of male homosexuality depends on the role one plays in sex. In Mexico, for example, a maricon is a man who gets fucked; the man who fucks him can be considered completely straight. The taboo isn’t against sex with other men; the taboo is against assuming the ‘female’ role.
I went out on a couple of dates with this guy who said (several times, for the funny) “Pitching ain’t gay.” Which summarizes the attitude pretty well.
You could tie in linguistics with this: Getting fucked or getting screwed is the ultimate expression for being in a bad, unfortunate, unpleasant position. Only the receptive formulation is used that way. To screw someone is to be the dominant party causing someone else pain.
Nice.
Don’t forget though not all homophobes are men.
I had a new student who I had met at peace marches and who I thought was a good progresive but when I wanted to invite her as
my guest to a gay wedding she told me She wan’t intrested in a snot nose tone of voice even though she had loved the idea of going to a wedding before she knew what kind it was.
Of course this person is no longer my student.
Don’t forget though not all homophobes are men.
Not all misogynists are men either.
Thats so true,look at all the dingbats on the internet who claim they know about all kinds of other women who abort for the most irresponsible reasons imaginable.Don’t they know that they are dicrediting all women including themselves when they do that?
I did manage to shut up one bunch though on a forum by posting that if one more pro-lifer claimed that they knew some woman who had 50 abortions so that they could sacrifice their babies to Satan,that I would vomit all over my keyboard.
Fortunately keyboards are cheap.